While this is going on in my life, a good friend of mine is back on the dating scene for the first time in many years. After hearing her talk about her experiences, I'm finding that there are a lot of parallels to that can be drawn between dating, and seeking a new band.
Think about it...in both cases you're "selling" yourself to another person (band). Yet, at the same time, you're checking them out to make sure that they're the right choice for you.
In both cases, you probably throw an ad out on the Internet somewhere. If you're like most folks, you put some time and thought into the ad. Unless you're a total loser...you try to maintain some resemblance to the truth, but that the same time you want to make yourself look as good as possible. You throw it out there, and then wait for a response.
When you do get a response, you probably swap a few emails. There's probably a phone call or two in there, and then if it seems like a good thing you arrange a meeting (audition).
The day arrives for the first date (audition). You make sure you look good, and you're on time. There's a certain amount of awkwardness at the beginning, but hopefully the "ice" gets broken, and you get to know each other over the next couple of hours.
And then at the end, there's the awkward moment again. Do you see each other again? If things went well, it's a little easier. But what happens when it doesn't go as well as it could? Or the other person (band) just isn't what you're looking for? Or even worse, the other person (band) wants to see you again, but it just didn't work for you?
Yeah, the more auditions I go to, the more I realize it's just a different kind of dating. But the problem is that you can't pick up a magazine at the check-out line at H.E.B. and read the rules for auditioning, while the "rules for dating" get a new treatment every month.
So, I'd like to offer up my suggested list of the "rules for dating (auditions)" for musicians. This is just my opinion on how a musician that's auditioning for a band should behave, as well as the band that's auditioning:
- Be Honest About Who You Are - Don't pump your resume up. Just because you happened to drink a beer with Rusty Weir at The Continental Club one Sunday afternoon does not mean you have "worked with him". And bands, drawing 3 people to a midnight show on Tuesday night at the same club doesn't mean you "pack 'em in".
- Be Honest About Your Expectations - I think we're all really done with the "rule the world" goal. Getting signed ain't about nothing anymore (everyone is giving away their music anyway). You want to impress me? Show me a business plan, contacts, and tell me how you plan to grow your audience. Anything else is proposing to someone on the first date.
- Be The Man - Polite Western society sort of dictates that the man sets up the first date. Don't let me show up to your audition and ask me "...so, what do you want to play?". It's your band...you should have figured that out by now.
- Don't Hijack The Date - You wouldn't want to pick your date up, and then they ask "...hey, could we pick up my friend and then drop us off at a party?". If you're auditioning, don't show up expecting to peddle your opinion or songs unless you've been specifically asked.
- Don't Be The Last To Leave The Party - If you're the guest, don't overstay your welcome. Play what you're asked to play, and no more. When that's done, get the hell out.
- Say "Thank You" - As another friend of mine once so eloquently said, "It doesn't cost anything to be nice." Doing that simple act will set you apart from half of the folks out there.
- If You Say You're Going To Call, Then Call - Don't let me go home thinking everything is all peachy keen. If it didn't work, tell me. Yeah, my ego will be bruised, but it's a lot better than sitting around wondering.
Keep it rockin',
Ken
